Sunday, October 6, 2013

Oct. 6, 1936

1075 12 St
Boulder, Colo
Oct. 6, 1936

Dear Fay--

Time flies as the old saying goes.  It seems to be flying at times, but just now it seems to be crawling for a change.  Since I left home I have noticed a slowing of pace on the part of Father Time.  I hope that you are not old and grey as yet, however.  But if you don't hurry and send me a letter you may forget how to write one.

I hope that you have got all settled down and are progressing happily by now.   How is school and what do you take in the way of studies?  And how does the observing go in the french class at high school?  Have any of the boys got fresh with you yet?  I'll bet that your severe pedagogical air does not intimidate them a great deal.

I am left wondering somewhat as to the reason for the prevalent dearth of correspondence on your part.  Did you receive the letter I sent you, or did you not?  If you did, why not answer?  If any of jolly levitations and well-meant advice were offensive I would like to know about it.  Perhaps you did not get it to the sorority house.  In any case, I am sorry.  My joyful expectation before the mailman arrives and pathetic crestfallen air when he leaves no letter from you is making everyone here feel sorry for me.

Presuming that you did not get the first (and second, since there were really two letters in one envelope) letter I will tell you all that has happened in short, terse style.  I came, I saw, I was conquered.

I stopped off in Laramie for a day and got my overcoat and saw Dr. Bruce.  He offered me a job as laboratory assistant which I hated to turn down.  I told him about Frandson and both he and Dr. Muenzinger here are in favor of inviting him to the meeting here on Thanksgiving.  We have a meeting for a scientific society at that time.  I saw Mr. Morris, my old philosophy prof there, too, and he asked me to read a book that he got into print last year and to give him the benefit of my lay criticism.   He got the impression in one quarter of Logic that I was smart, and I may have been at that time, but that was in the past.

I got here and found registration proceeding merrily along.  Rooms were as plentiful as the proverbial masticating mechanism of that class of warm-blooded vertebrates having the body more or less covered with feathers (more commonly known as the class aves, or still more vulgarly as birds).  I mean that rooms were scarce as the teeth of the domesticated species of fowl known as the chicken.  Or do you get what I mean, anyhow?  Regardless of all such difficulties I got a room and registered for several classes.  The room is fair enough, the best part about it being its proximity to campus.  The classes were a series of mistakes for the most part.  I have been to every one of them at least once and I don't think that the profs really appreciate my worth.

The classes are in advanced general psych, advanced comparative psych, psych journal club, statistics, and zoology.  Two of them, stat and advanced comparative, are advanced pains in the neck or what-have-you.  I like advanced psych and journal club, but as luck would have it I am only sitting in on those courses.  In zoology my attitude must be all wrong.  I refuse to be inspired by the prospect of dissecting a defunct hare commonly known as the rabbit.  I know all about the stomach and intestine and can hardly wait to learn about the liver and thyroid and kidney!

The rats are still too juvenile to run and I have little to do.  The prof wants me to start a new problem and I guess that I will.  Today I started one of the other grads to learning how to handle rats and the apparatus but that entails little work for me.  The prof has some other schemes up his sleeve and I am going to ask him to let me get them in some shape for some one to work on.  That will keep me out of mischief.  I am in charge of the lab and have to keep everything working.  Today I found that part of it is not working just now and I have that to fix if possible.

Did  our lawn ever come up?  I have been wondering about that.  And how is the Barrett's house coming along?  And how did the pictures come out?  You had better send me a good one (preferably several) of you.

You were bad medicine for me, I guess, since I can not seem to get settled down for the evenings anymore.  I surely do miss you about this time of day in particular.  And speaking bad medicine, and feeling that you might possibly consider me in that light, I have just the fellow found for you.  I am sure that he would neither compromise you nor even try to.  In fact, the girls in the psych department tell me that he is the perfect gentleman.  I guess they don't like gentlemen because they pal around with me.  I was perturbed to find that they did not consider me as the perfect gentleman.  It seems that my not being one allows them to speak to me of many things--of shoes, and ships, and sealing-wax, and whether pigs have wings.  I am almost embarrassed at times.  But that is aside from the point.  This fellow agrees with everything that you tried to tell me.  The only difference is that I have argued him out of it now and he is normal enough, I find, underneath it all.  He remains firm in his convictions even though he agrees with me as to the psychology of the thing.  We also have discussed religion to its fullest and arrived at some agreement.  We all make fun of him, but we respect him, nevertheless.  I vetoed a suggestion that we sick some fast sorority girl on him and see what happens--from a purely psychological point of view.  I would have liked to know, too, but.....

I hope, however, that you are not hunting around to take the place of the unspeakable Richards.  Of course, I am a long ways away and could not help myself if you are, but I can at least hope from this distance.  If you had received my other letter you might be able to figure out that I really care enough about you to be concerned about your welfare.  I still am and I hope that you let me know how you are getting along.  You can confide in me like a brother.  I'll charge no fee for any psychological advice, either.  Lots of people have found that out, but, I am sorry to say, they have also found out that I tell them my honest opinion and they don't always come back for more.  They find it to be like listening at a key-hole--they don't always here good of themselves.  But I would only tell you your good points, although they say that we always find the most fault with those we love best and with the things that we found most desireable as they are.  Any time that you want to know your best points just send a stamped self-addressed envelope.

So far I have done everything but study and I am afraid that I'll have to try that pretty soon.  I am as restless as a dog with flees.  I have been on a hike, been fishing, drove away up into the mountains, been to a dance, and spent the rest of the time either looking for someone to talk to or talking to them after I found them.  The weather here is swell just now and I would rather be out of doors than inside studying.

You know that you lost a bet when the Aggies only tied their game last Saturday.  They are going to get beat outright this weekend, I think.  I'll bet your wristwatch against your sorority pin to that effect.  I wish that you could be up here to see it happen.  I'd show you a bit of the country, too.

Well, I hope that you still love me.  Sometimes I wonder that even my mother does.  Still, all the dogs, cats, and rats do, even if you don't.  Sometimes I think that the sad love affair of Dante and Beatrice has nothing on mine.  The analogy stops short when I remember that Beatrice was an angel and that Dante got to heaven eventually.  I hope that you are not an angel as yet, and I have great doubts, not only as to the existence of heaven, but as to any chance I would have to getting there if it does exist.  I am reading up on Buddhism now and will be able to tell you all about perfect self-realization pretty soon.  That is not far from my belief, after all.  The best that we can do is lead a complete life.  So far mine is not complete, but you are going to fix that sooner or later, are you not?  Or do you remember when the moon got in my eyes?  Or was it just the moon?

You may not know it, but this is a lot better letter than the last one, anyhow.  It verged on being sentimental.  I hate to get that way, at least from such a distance as this.  You told me a couple of times that you did not care for some of my letters.  If this does not suit you just give me an idea of the style you prefer.  I am master of many forms of expression.  Just don't request any poetry.  I am no Robert Browning.

All kidding aside, last summer and you meant a lot to me and I hope that it does not have to stop with that.  Of course that depends on you.  If it was a transitory affair, let me know.  If not merely a summer gap-filler it will still lose its savor merely thru the action of time.  Everything, as Schopenhauer said, lingers for but a moment, and hastens on to death.  We can make the moment long or short as you will--the fire grows or goes out according as it is tended.  Like everything else that is worth-while it requires not only consideration but action.  All that comes to him who waits is a long grey beard.  Action takes many forms and I hope that yours materializes in a letter.

con todo mi amor


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